We gave a cat a tie and a whiteboard. Within minutes, it scheduled a mandatory meeting about improving the efficiency of meetings. Buzloo brought a coffee. The dog brought the right attitude. The hamster appears to be reconsidering its career.
The cat: chair of the meeting
The board is completely blank, which is apparently what “starting with a clean slate” means. The cat has already used the words strategy, alignment, and circle back. No one has identified a circle.
The dog: head of work-life balance
Eyes closed. Breathing steady. Not a single unnecessary follow-up question. The dog has achieved the kind of professional boundaries that usually require several expensive seminars.
The hamster: taking minutes and losing hours
The hamster has written down three action points. All three say “find out why we are here.” A fourth, more private note says “research remote jobs.”
Buzloo: physically present
Buzloo nodded at the correct intervals, stared into the coffee, and tried to remember what happiness felt like before someone said “just a quick sync.” The coffee is now the only participant with a measurable contribution.
This could have been an email. The email could have been a nap.
Know someone who has spent an entire afternoon in a “quick” meeting? Send them this. Preferably after the meeting, when they finally remember what their actual job is.
These are original fictional Buzloo scenes created with AI for comedy. No animals attended an actual corporate meeting.
